Why?

So tomorrow I begin chemotherapy to rid my body of cancer. I have a multitude of thoughts swirling in my head, some of which I will write about at a later date. But today, I thought I’d try to verbalize (mostly for my own benefit) some thoughts I have about the “why” question.

Shanda has asked me why I thought this might be happening to us. I told her I didn’t know. I haven’t struggled with this question as much as I thought I might. I am not going to worry about the “why” question because I don’t yet have a good answer for the “why not” question. Why shouldn’t this be happening to me? I have no answer.

Shanda and I did get an encouraging email this week about the “why” question, though. A friend had been reading about Jesus ministering to a widow and raising her son from the dead. (Please go read Luke 7:11-16.)

Here’s what Beth Moore had to say about this situation….

"Jesus ran into a woman in hopeless despair and just reacted with what came most naturally to Him- healing mercy. I believe we possibly have a small glimpse into what Christ would do in every one of our despairing situations if a greater plan was not at stake. I believe what comes most naturally to Christ every time He encounters need is to instantly fix it. Is it possible He exercises great restraint to work any other way in the face of devastation? I think so.

A plan of profound importance exists that sometimes overrides the miracle we so desperately desire. But I am comforted to know that instantaneous healing and resurrection power come even more naturally to our Christ than waiting and working through long but necessary processes. The biggest reason why I can trust God in the sovereignty of God is because I am so utterly convinced of the sweetness of God."

Hmm. “A plan of profound importance…”

I don’t think it is mere coincidence that I just taught a Sunday School lesson on what this plan might be. We have been discussing the story of Lazarus in our group for a few weeks. Perhaps you remember the story (in John 11:1-44). Jesus’ good friend is sick and dying. Mary and Martha send word to him to come, but he doesn’t. He delays. By the time he gets there, Lazarus is dead and more than a few folks are asking their own versions of “why” questions. In this story, Jesus repeatedly explains that His actions are for the sake of their faith. (See verses 14-15, 25-26, 40, and 41-42 for at least four such occasions.)

Perhaps Jesus’ first inclination is to rush to his friend and heal him immediately. But He delays and allows Lazarus to die because of something greater – the faith of those who knew and loved Lazarus.

Perhaps Jesus’ first inclination is to rush to my side and heal me quickly and painlessly, if not miraculously. But maybe He’ll delay because of something greater – my faith and the faith of those around me.

So as I start my journey tomorrow – a long 6 months or so, spending a third of my time in the hospital, fighting off fatigue and pain, wishing for time with my friends and family, and mourning the loss of a “normal” life – I cherish your prayers. But in addition to these temporary and earthly concerns (as valid as they are), please pray for more eternal and spiritual matters. Pray that I will grow in my own faith. Pray that I will be an encouragement to other believers. Pray that non-Christians will be drawn to Jesus.

Thank you!