Denials and Updates

I apologize for the delay in posting recently. In this case, no news has been good news.

I had a very good week at home. Too good, perhaps. Once my white blood count was high enough, I was able to resume some normal activities.

Normal. Hmm.

I went to the office to work for an hour or two each day. I was able to pretend life was normal there for a while and that was good. Working at the office reminded me that there is a normal life out there waiting for me after all of this.

I went to Chili’s for some normal chicken fajita quesadillas.

I went to see “The Dark Knight.” The joker wasn’t normal, but my evening was.

I was able to just hang out and laugh with my wife and kids. That was very normal and very good.

I went to Larry’s Pizza for some abnormally good pizza.

And I’ve been living in denial a little bit. I avoided unpacking the rest of my stuff from the last trip to the hospital until today. Honestly, I’ve avoided blogging because blogging reminds me that something is wrong.

Round 2 of chemotherapy is scheduled to start on Monday morning, however, and reality is starting to set back in. I am feeling the weight of what could be a very long 6 months or so. Now that I have 1 round of chemo under my belt, I have a glimpse of what the next 7 rounds might look like – and in some ways I feel like I am mourning the loss of a normal life for a while.

I’ve got some blog posts percolating… some of which I am already looking forward to writing. Posts about God’s timing and God’s provision. Posts about thankfulness, perseverance, and toughness. Maybe another post about normalcy, too. And I’ll do better at updating the blog.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

Reality Check: After drafting these words (above) this afternoon, my hair has started to fall out tonight. We were expecting that to occur sometime, so it is weirdly normal.