Back on July 9th (and before I started chemotherapy), I shared some of my thoughts about the “why” question. I wrote then that I had not been struggling with asking it. I didn’t figure that there was any good reason why I should not get cancer.Since that time, I think I’ve read a dozen or so articles and a couple of books – and it seems like all of them have addressed this “why” question that haunts many people. Each one of these articles and books described how everyone with cancer (or in some other crisis) eventually asks why. Everyone wants to know why they have to suffer, why they have to experience some particular hardship, why they have to endure disappointment, pain, or loss.
In fact, one article explained that even Jesus asked the “why” question on the cross. In Mark 15:34 we read this: And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Dang. So everyone asks the "why" question? Even Jesus??
I began to feel uneasy. Several questions started to swirl in my head. Am I just in denial? Am I burying my head in the sand? Am I being genuine and authentic? Am I faking some sort of self-righteousness? Do I think I’m better than Jesus?
I don’t know. But I still don’t think much about the “why” question. I’m not angry or bitter that I have cancer. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it. I don’t like the fatigue, the medicines, the strain it is putting on the rest of my family, the interference it is having on my friendships, work, and hobbies. I don’t like it at all. But I figure this is just a part of life – it is part of what it means to live in a world that is tainted with sin.
And I figure Jesus is the only person who ever deserved to have an answer.
The author of last article I read made me feel better. After describing his own struggle with several crises and the “why” question, here was his conclusion:
“If I knew why each of those events happened, I still wouldn’t be satisfied. Comfort doesn’t come with explanations; it comes from the promises of God. And not once did God answer the why’s of Job. Nor did He answer the why of Jesus. What both of them realized at the end of their lives was that compared to the presence of God, the why didn’t matter.”
I liked that.
Why? (part 3) – coming soon.
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2 comments:
Why? Why ask Why? I agree, that question is really pointless to ask. Maybe sometime in the future God will allow us to know part of his plan for this, but for now maybe a better question is "HOW?" How am I going to use this to make an impact on the Kingdom? Rabbi Kershner struggled with the why question in his book "When Bad Things Happen to Good people." He came to some unsettling answers and I disagree with much of what he said, but it is a challenging book none the less. Might be a good read if you haven't yet. He will challenge your beliefs.
How true, how true. Give my love to Shanda~
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