Authentic Sexuality, part 4

I start blogging on sex and the comment streams dry up like the Sahara. Go figure. But I am not deterred…..

Thursday, our class discussed marriage as the specific vehicle for true sexual fulfillment. Part of our time was spent reviewing the four theological themes and how they are worked out in marriage. We also spent some time reviewing the common sexual struggles married couples face. In our discussion, we noted that men and women seem designed with different needs, wants, and views of sex, love, and intimacy. But it was difficult to verbalize.

Some students have heard this for example. “Men need sex to feel loved. Women need love to enjoy sex.” While overly simplistic and an overgeneralization, there is likely some truth to this idea. As a rule, men need sexual acceptance from their wives in order to fully experience warmth, closeness, and intimacy. As a rule, women need to feel cherished, valued, and secure in order to fully experience sexual fulfillment.

With this in mind, there is often a relationship cycle at work here. In a negative cycle, it might look like the first diagram above – (keep in mind the cycle can start at any point). In a positive cycle, it might look like the second diagram above.

My students seemed to find some value in this concept. But here’s where I call on comments from the rest of the peanut gallery. Are there any brave married souls out there that would like to either confirm or deny this dynamic in their relationship? Anonymous posters are welcome, if that helps.