If you are asked to teach your parents’ Sunday School class of “Bible Boomers” (empty nesters), be careful how many times you use the word “poop.” Once or twice will get you some laughs. After that, your are just being weird.In case you thought otherwise, a Sunday school class of empty nesters will still have some odd people in it.
Gift cards are the best Christmas presents ever. It’s like getting 2 presents for the price of 1. You get the joy and excitement of opening the present and then later you get the joy and excitement of spending it. But keeping a gift card in your pocket is like walking with a small rock in your shoe. You aren’t going to be able to concentrate until you get rid of it.
Cash, on the other hand, is a dangerous Christmas present, especially if you are unorganized like me. Before you know it, your Christmas present can turn into a couple of Sonic route 44s, a burrito here and there, a car wash, some batteries, and a ticket stub to a movie. Darn it.
If you not involved in buying Christmas presents for your kids, it is best to just keep your mouth shut while they open them. Under no circumstances should you blurt out to your wife while your kids are checking out their stockings from Santa, “Hey! That’s cool. Where did you get that?”
Soft beds will make pregnant women snore. Loudly.
Convincing someone that your bad idea is actually a good one is relatively easy. Convincing someone that their good idea is actually a bad one is nearly impossible.
If your family is sitting around enjoying some Sherbet & 7-up floats and your 2 year old cracks his plastic cup and then screams, “Mayday! Mayday!” you might snort your own float from laughing so hard.
Snorting sherbet floats will hurt your nostrils.
If you are boxing on a Nintendo Wii and you get into your character too much, you can work up a real sweat. And people will look at you in bewilderment.
If you are playing Wii tennis against your 5 year old son and you beat him, don’t taunt him and gloat. People will look at you in disappointment and disgust.
A 2 year old singing “Awesome God” while doing karate chops, kicks, and jumps is funnier than you might think.
Shiny new Christmas toys can keep you away from blogging. But if you stay away too long, you might disappoint your readers – or your mom.
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2 comments:
Just thought you should know that I almost rolled off the couch from laughing so hard while reading this blog post.
How funny! I don't know your kids, but I am siting here imagining it all. I can totally see it all happening with my family (except my 6 year old cleans up at anything Wii at our house).
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