Rules You Aren't Learning in School

Here’s an interesting list of rules for high school and college students. Part of the list was written by Charles Sykes over 13 years ago. But he has recently released a new book that modifies and adds to the list. Below is a mix of those two lists (until I can get my hands on the new book)

- Life is not fair; get used to it.

- The real world won't care as much as your school does about your self-esteem. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

- Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a company car. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a designer label.

- Naked people look different in real life.

- If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

- Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

- If you screw up, it's not anyone else's fault. So don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

- Your parents weren't as boring before you were born as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills, driving you around, saving for your education, cleaning your room, and listening to you tell how idealistic you are. So before you save the rain forest from the bloodsucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

- Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

- Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

- Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

- Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

- You are not immortal. If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

- Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Missing Books

Al Mohler blogged recently about the “Twilight of the Books.” I would encourage you to read all of his post for yourself. He describes the decline in interest and in time spent reading among all people. In many ways, our society has just given up on reading. We aren’t returning to a time of illiteracy, because many people can read and just don’t. We are rather returning to a time or orality – where information is passed not through written words but through spoken words. We are becoming viewers of information rather than readers of information, and we are becoming a society of people who can’t read critically.

Not buying it? Consider this… only 13% of Americans can take two contrasting newspaper editorials and come to a reasoned comparison.

I see this decline even in my own life. I enjoy reading and I have a growing list of books I would like to read someday. And yet, when I have time to read I instead spend it watching quality television (LOST, 24, and SportsCenter) and ridiculous television (American Idol, American Gladiators, and Biggest Loser) alike. I am jealous of my friend Chris who as part of his Ph.D. program in Leadership is required to read 15 great works of literature this semester. And yet nothing but my own laziness prevents me from reading just the same.

This trend could have significant implications. “A reader learns about the world and imagines it differently from the way a viewer does; according to some experimental psychologists, a reader and a viewer even think differently. If the eclipse of reading continues, the alteration is likely to matter in ways that aren't foreseeable.” Think of how education will be different as we confront students who don’t know how to read critically. Think of how politics will be different. Think of how church will be different. In fact, Mohler suggests that of all people, it is Christians who should lament the decline in reading most:

“For Christians, the concern must reach even deeper levels of concern. Christians are a ‘people of the Book.’ Our knowledge of God, the Gospel, and all things essential to our faith is found within a book, the written text of the Bible. Beyond this, while Christian witness is often oral in transmission, the survival of the church depends upon the availability of the Bible as the church's living witness to Jesus Christ. Put simply, Christians who are not deeply involved in a growing understanding of the Bible will find their faith fed, fueled, and formed by something other than the Bible.”

Practice What You Preach

I heard someone the other day lamenting how so many people don't practice what they preach. And I admit I that I often fall into that group of people. But practicing what you preach is in some ways easier than the alternative. Consider these words from another blogger reflecting on “preaching what you practice” rather than the other way around.

“Ahh, if I were to do that, might my ‘preaching’ be something like…’Hey buddy, you need to read one or two chapters a day and then act like you did the Lord a favor and then you need to be very nice to all the strangers you meet but make sure you do a double barrel verbal assault on your wife and kids, and to top it off, make sure you get your bills done and put away some fun money and then give God a little something on the side.’ Yep, it’s much easier to practice what you preach than to preach what you practice. Because if I do the former, then it’s still something I can aspire to, the latter reveals what’s already in my heart.”

2008 Predictions

A New Year often means resolutions and predictions.

I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions. I disappoint myself enough already. But after reading some others make predictions for the New Year (like here and here), I decided to make my own. Here are my bold CBC predictions for 2008. Drum roll please…….

(1) We will have another record enrollment in the fall.

(2) Due to the record enrollment, CBC dorms will be completely full. And in an effort to prevent students from living off campus, President Terry Kimbrow will suggest that students triple up in their dorm rooms, rotating which 2 students get to use the beds each night. (He will be heard remarking to the faculty that more students should be pulling all-nighters studying anyway).

(3) Some professor from some department will do something completely uncontroversial and nonconfrontational.

(4) A group of militant Arminians will rise up and challenge the militant Calvinists in a CBC turf war. Arminians will claim the library and Calvinists will claim the auditorium. Arminians will design “John Wesley is my wing-man” t-shirts to match the Calvinists’ “Jonathan Edwards is my homeboy” t-shirts. In a tragic scene reminiscent of Michael Jackson’s “Bad” video, the gangs will face off at the bell tower. Accusations of heresy will be made. Fingers will get pointed and Bibles will be thumped. Tears will be shed and blood will flow. When the situation becomes most desperate, Bobby Wilkey will appear from the shadows, scold the two groups for bringing shame to CBC (or for making too much noise), and everyone will leave quietly in disgrace. No one will speak of these days and in 20 years only Jeff Riddle will remember.

(5) Josh Austin, not wanting CBC to be known as “that college” that suffered from an opposing player reaching the only quadruple-double in college hoops history, resorts drastic measures. The team becomes known for being “that team that wears Chuck Taylors and runs the 4 corner offense on every play.” And because of his love for towels, people will continue to compare coach Austin to Jerry Tarkanian.

(6) The men’s basketball team will beat a NCAA division II school.

(7) The men’s soccer team will reach the NCCAA National Championship Finals.

(8) I will continue insisting to my counseling students that simply having clients read the Bible is not adequate to solve their problems. Likewise, another student will complain to administration that I have a weak view on the sovereignty of God and the sufficiency of Scripture.

(9) The school will receive another large donation between $750,000 and $1,000,000.

(10) Chris Medenwald will get a larger office.

(11) Someone will write in to the student newspaper complaining that the new classrooms, new science labs, new science equipment, and new faculty offices in the Cooper Complex are all bad ideas, because, like, dude, where are they supposed to find the couches and vending machines now?

(12) The roof of the Cooper Complex will leak somewhere.

(13) The CBC Athletic Booster Club will not be guilty of any recruiting violations.

(14) Pi Lambda will be on the verge of extinction, just one year after its inception. Someone with vision and a heart for service will be the next president and will rejuvenate the organization.

(15) Tyronza Conard will catch someone breaking into and stealing items from the bookstore. The usually mild-mannered bookstore manager will flashback to his wild-eyed, Marine drill instructor persona and will scare the intruder senseless. Only the intervention of Jonathan Wilson (and his small touring group of prospective students) will prevent the intruder from wetting his pants and becoming a babbling mess.

(16) My blog will receive a record numbers of visitors. I will get excited and think highly of myself. Then I’ll find out that the numbers are simply due to my grandma (who has recently gotten her very first computer) hitting the refresh button a couple dozen times every day.

(17) Somewhere, sometime, somehow, the Holy Spirit will ‘show up’ on the CBC campus – and something very, very cool will happen.

I’ve got three slots left open to round it off to an even 20. What CBC predictions do you have?

Hosea, part 2

I mentioned in an earlier post that our LIFE Group at church has embarked on a study of Hosea. In our first week, we discussed how God called Hosea to marry a promiscuous woman and why.

Before I began studying for last week’s lesson, I had some preconceived notions about what was coming next. I suppose I thought the story would transition nicely into how Hosea loved Gomer so much that he went back after her, even when she left for other lovers. And the parallel is nice, isn’t it? God loves us so much, that he pursues us and desires us to come back to him, even when we drift, fail, and are unfaithful to him. Yep, God is loving and compassionate and is always standing ready to make our relationship with Him right again.

But that’s not quite the transition we find in chapter 2.

First, God speaks some pretty harsh words of judgment. You should read Hosea 2:2-13 for yourself – from a reputable translation. But here’s my shorthand…

“Kids rebuke your mom. I no longer consider her my wife. I am no longer her husband. She has exposed herself to other lovers, so I will expose her to the rest of the world for the unfaithful woman she is. I will shame her. I will leave her helpless. I will punish her. Chasing after other lovers is bad enough, but what hurts the most is that she forgot me. And for that, she will pay.”

If that seems a bit too much, consider what God could have done. He was the one who gave this Mosaic law regarding unfaithfulness in Deut. 22:22, “If a man is discovered having sexual relations with another man's wife, both the man who had sex with the woman and the woman must die.”

Unfaithfulness isn’t just an inconvenience to a relationship. It has dire consequences. How quickly I forget that my sin and unfaithfulness to my Lord requires the harshest of judgments. I gloss over my own wickedness because I know God loves me and will forgive me.

God’s love and compassion do indeed come in the second half of chapter 2. God romances Israel back to himself and it is a beautiful picture. But God’s compassion, love, and pursuit of those He loves are most meaningful only after we recognize the judgment we deserve.

I wonder how Christian counseling would be different if for some clients we stressed judgment before we moved to love and forgiveness.

And I wonder how my own life would be different.

Students as Consumers

I found an interesting blog entry not long ago about the consumer mentality of students. Dr. Monroe is at a Christian graduate school, and in his post he described a faculty meeting where some were lamenting the mindset of students who think and act as if their school exists to simply meet their needs – especially their needs for a degree and a job. Others in that meeting noted that schools do in fact have a responsibility to provide the best service and product possible.

You can read the full post from Phil Monroe here if you’d like. Below is a substantial portion of the post – and I’ve highlighted what I think is the kicker. I offer it as food for thought for all of us as we start another semester.

So, here’s my question, can student as consumer also do a good job being student as disciple of Christ? Where’s the line between wise consumer and self-focused/demanding consumer?

This past month my credit card company submitted my check to them TWICE to my bank. That means they took a significant amount of money out of my checking account without my consent–and it could have caused other checks to bounce. I was not happy. Calls to the bank quickly resulted in our getting back what was rightfully mine. I was not happy with the bank for letting it happen and I was not happy with the credit card company for making the mistake. I want them to know that I’m not happy and to assure me it will never happen again. Ultimately, I want them to make me happy all the time. I want them to never let me down. And if they do not make me happy? Then I’ll take my business elsewhere. Isn’t that how we approach most of our consuming? If my favorite restaurant stops pleasing me and treating me as a king, then I’m not likely to go back.

Do students bring this attitude into their education? I think so. I think I did as a student. I noted every failure of my profs. I rarely brought my concerns to them (for fear of looking petty) but more than once I’m sure I complained (shared my feelings) to my peers. Where does it lead us? Grumbling and complaining. Looking at the faults of others rather than our own. Defending rather than being appropriately self-critical. Not sure it is easy to be a disciple when I’m grumbling and complaining.

So, the challenge for students is to bring legitimate concerns and complaints to their professor’s attention, avoid gossip, and consider the formation opportunity in front of them (e.g., life when things don’t turn out as expected). And faculty/administration have the challenge before them to make sure they listen to said complaints, avoid defensiveness, repent where necessary, and pursue both their own and their student’s formative learning moments. Teachers and program administrators must remember that they too are disciples on the same journey as their pupils.

May we all pursue excellence as servants of the kingdom.

Gettin' Arkansified

School is getting started again this week and I’m already feeling a bit overwhelmed. Some of that is due to the fact that I am teaching Human Sexuality for the first time this semester. I added it to our curriculum because I think it is a critically important topic today, especially for Christians. But I’ve now put myself in the position of having to speak openly (and sometimes explicitly) about all sorts of issues, activities, and body parts. That will be a bit awkward – I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.

In the meantime, I thought I should confess I’m getting a bit more Arkansified these days. In just the four days between Thursday and Sunday this past weekend, I’ve done all of the following:

Camped out in a cabin with no electricity and no water. (And enjoyed it.)
Went four-wheeling.
Climbed into a deer blind for the first time in my life.
Ate deer meat.
Fired a pistol for the first time.
Fired a rifle for just the third or fourth time.
Fished for some catfish.
Did some skeet shooting.
Went to my first Razorback basketball game.
Nearly had my legs chopped off by Chris Medenwald.

(OK. I’m not sure how “Arkansas” that last item is. But I had to include it in the list.)

I think the only thing left to do is pull a couple of teeth and get a tattoo. But in case you were wondering, I did NOT call the hogs at the ball game. I’m still holding out.

Hosea, part 1

I like to mix up the kind of lessons we have in my LIFE group at Conway’s First Baptist Church. (For those of you who aren’t hip to the lingo, LIFE groups are Sunday school groups.) We sometimes do topical studies. Other times we’ll use MasterWork from LifeWay and review a popular Christian book. And at other times we’ll also do more exegetical Bible books studies, too.

As we were getting ready to transition to a new series of lessons, I thought it might be a good time to do a book study on something from the Old Testament. I asked Shanda for her suggestions, and she thought the book of Hosea might be interesting. I searched my memory banks (limited as they are) and here’s what I remembered. (1) Hosea is that dude who has to marry some prostitute. That’s got to be interesting. (2) The book of Hosea has a lot of poetry in it and it might be good for our class to tackle something different. (3) Hosea uses lots of metaphors and I love metaphors. Based on that, I decided Hosea was the way to go. And I was starting to get excited about the lessons.

Then I started studying and read this from one commentator:

“Chapters 4-14 are among the most difficult in the entire Bible.”

Oh. I see. And then I read this:

“Hosea competes with Job for the distinction of containing more unintelligible passages than any other book.”

Oh my. I’m gonna get lost and drive my LIFE group into the ground. It’s going to come to a screeching halt and I’ll be fired as the teacher.

But I’m forging ahead anyway. We had our first lesson this past Sunday and I opened with the counseling case study that I posted here just two days ago. And I got many of the same responses in class that I’ve gotten here on the blog. It is interesting a couple of folks brought up Hosea, because here’s the deal – Mr. H. is Hosea. The book opens with this in just the second verse. “When the LORD first spoke to Hosea, He said this to him: ‘Go and marry a promiscuous wife and [have] children of promiscuity, for the whole land has been promiscuous by abandoning the LORD.’”

We don’t know for sure what this really means. Some have said that the whole story is allegory (it didn’t really happen). But even those who maintain this is a real historical narrative don’t agree on Gomer. Was she a prostitute? There were plenty of them around, even temple prostitutes from the leftover days of worshipping Baal. Or was she a woman who had an unfaithful and promiscuous character? I’m not sure it matters. Either way, Hosea knew he was in for trouble. He knew God was calling him to an impossible and heartbreaking life. God shows up and says, “Hosea. Guess what? Your life gets to be an object lesson. Go marry someone who will make you miserable.” (Well, that’s my version, anyway.)

And so it begins. Hosea marries Gomer and they have three children. (The object lessons commence as God instructs Hosea to give certain names to their children. You can check those out in verses 3-9.)

We are going to learn something about the nature and character of God through the life of Hosea. Here are a few questions we’ll face. (1) What happens to God when we are unfaithful to Him? How does He react and how does He feel? (2) What are the consequences of our unfaithfulness? How serious is it? (3) If we persist in our unfaithfulness, at what point will God give up on us?

I may get my walking papers as a teacher, but I’m looking forward to covering the rest of Hosea. I’ll try to post updates on our lessons here from time to time and I would love your comments.

Counseling Case Study

Let's say Mr. H. comes to seek your guidance and assistance. Perhaps you have a reputation for being a good listener. Perhaps you have given wise counsel in the past. Perhaps he knows you have been taking some of Dr. New’s counseling classes. For whatever reason, assume Mr. H. comes to you for help. After reading his case below, what do you tell him?

Mr. H.’s wife has left him. And she has taken their 3 kids with her. She has moved to another town, has been living with and having affairs with a series of other men. She has rejected any and all offers to reconcile with her husband. Mr. H. has repeatedly tried to get her to return home. He has even helped her out financially when she needed it. She takes his money, but refuses to reconcile. In fact, she rather openly mocks and laughs as Mr. H. And yet he continues to dream of getting his wife back. He can’t seem to accept what has happened to his marriage.

What do you tell Mr. H.?

Random Lessons from my Christmas Break

If you are asked to teach your parents’ Sunday School class of “Bible Boomers” (empty nesters), be careful how many times you use the word “poop.” Once or twice will get you some laughs. After that, your are just being weird.

In case you thought otherwise, a Sunday school class of empty nesters will still have some odd people in it.

Gift cards are the best Christmas presents ever. It’s like getting 2 presents for the price of 1. You get the joy and excitement of opening the present and then later you get the joy and excitement of spending it. But keeping a gift card in your pocket is like walking with a small rock in your shoe. You aren’t going to be able to concentrate until you get rid of it.

Cash, on the other hand, is a dangerous Christmas present, especially if you are unorganized like me. Before you know it, your Christmas present can turn into a couple of Sonic route 44s, a burrito here and there, a car wash, some batteries, and a ticket stub to a movie. Darn it.

If you not involved in buying Christmas presents for your kids, it is best to just keep your mouth shut while they open them. Under no circumstances should you blurt out to your wife while your kids are checking out their stockings from Santa, “Hey! That’s cool. Where did you get that?”

Soft beds will make pregnant women snore. Loudly.

Convincing someone that your bad idea is actually a good one is relatively easy. Convincing someone that their good idea is actually a bad one is nearly impossible.

If your family is sitting around enjoying some Sherbet & 7-up floats and your 2 year old cracks his plastic cup and then screams, “Mayday! Mayday!” you might snort your own float from laughing so hard.

Snorting sherbet floats will hurt your nostrils.

If you are boxing on a Nintendo Wii and you get into your character too much, you can work up a real sweat. And people will look at you in bewilderment.

If you are playing Wii tennis against your 5 year old son and you beat him, don’t taunt him and gloat. People will look at you in disappointment and disgust.

A 2 year old singing “Awesome God” while doing karate chops, kicks, and jumps is funnier than you might think.

Shiny new Christmas toys can keep you away from blogging. But if you stay away too long, you might disappoint your readers – or your mom.

Happy New Year

New posts coming soon!