The Call of Jesus

Overcoming the pain, bleakness, bills, boredom, and brokenness of life seems to be a deep yearning, hard-wired into the soul of every person. The world is full of modern gurus… who promise to help anyone willing to pay for such an escape from life. Myriad promises and elaborate plans exist to help people find nirvana, strike it rich, reach some superconsciouness, change the world, or attain true inner peace.

Then there is the call of Jesus. Jesus’ timeless message still trumpets its hallowed, outrageous offense: “I bid you to come and die.” But in that dying, something else is reborn: new life in the present and the seed of eternal life to come. This is true spirituality, not the false, man-made, human-centered, creature-glorifying variety. This is what everyone is seeking even if they don’t know it yet—even if they come to it fighting, screaming, and complaining.

The simple, unvarnished truth is that God makes something happen in us that we cannot do by ourselves—nor can any other human being do it for us. …God in Christ is the Great Physician, the only One who is able to apply healing salve to our aching souls. God in Christ is the Great Redeemer, seeking and saving the lost, redeeming our darkened and desperate lives from great travail. God in Christ is the Great Reconciler who forges new bonds and creates renewed relationships out of broken shards that otherwise would only cut and wound….

Though it is a road less traveled; nonetheless, this is true spirituality.

(from Tim Clinton and George Ohlschlager in Competent Christian Counseling)

Jim Jones and Jesus

In my previous post on the lowball technique, I mentioned another technique in passing – the foot-in-the-door technique. I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase, even if you aren’t quite sure how to articulate what it means. Social psychologists have documented a clear tendency for people to agree to larger requests if they have first agreed to smaller ones. The foot-in-the-door technique manipulates this tendency.

If I want my neighbor to come to my house while I am on vacation to feed my dog and play with him for 30 minutes every day, I’m probably better off not asking for that request immediately. I’m better off first asking if he would mind checking my mail. If he agrees, then I can ask if while he is bringing my mail inside if he would also feed the dog. If he agrees to that, then I can ask if he would mind hanging out with him for about 30 minutes just so he doesn’t get too lonely.

Get the picture? It’s sneaky, but it works.

(For those of you following along closely and see some resemblance between the foot-in-the-door and the lowball techniques, think of the lowball as a variation of the foot-in-the-door.)

Cults often work by masterfully using the foot-in-the-door technique. Recruiting efforts are started by making very small requests. Once a person complies with a small request, the cult leader very gradually and slowly increases the demands. Jim Jones said that his recruiters would ask people as they passed by to help for just five minutes by folding and mailing some envelopes. He was confident in his ability to keep them in the cult if he could get them for just five minutes. At one point he said, “You know, once I get somebody, I can get them to do anything.” And listen to what one of his former cult members said later.

“Nothing was ever done drastically. That’s how Jim Jones got away with so much. You slowly gave up things and slowly had to put up with more, but it was always done very gradually. It was amazing, because you would sit up sometimes and say, wow, I really have given up a lot. I am putting up with a lot. But he did it so slowly that you figured, I’ve made it this far, what the hell is the difference?”

Compare all of this with the experience a good friend of mine had lately. He has just started a rigorous PhD program at a Christian university. During their first week, the instructors and administrators very clearly told the students what they could expect. They would be worked very hard. They would be thoroughly critiqued. They would be stressed and at times feel overwhelmed. Then, as my friend describes it, they communicated with all sincerity and graciousness, “but, oh, we WANT you here. We WANT you to succeed. We will love and care for you and do our best to help you become your best.”

I got to thinking about how our churches approach trying to reach lost people. Do we sometimes fall in to the temptation of using the foot-in-the-door or the lowball techniques? After all, they ARE effective (at least in getting people in the front door). The picture we get of Jesus, though, is more like that of my friend’s PhD program. Jesus says that following him will cost us EVERYTHING and he makes it no secret. But from the very beginning, we can hear him say, “but, oh, I WANT you. And I will love and care for you. Give up everything you have and I will meet all your needs.”

I like that.

The Lowball Technique

In my Social Psychology class, we discuss various ways in which people try to influence each other to change their behaviors. Part of that discussion reviews the major techniques used by various salesmen. You may have heard of the “foot in the door technique.” There is also the “door in the face technique,” the “bait and switch technique,” and the “that’s not all technique.” All of them unique and relatively effective in getting people to change their minds and/or behaviors.

One other is called the “lowball technique.” This involves getting a person to make a commitment to something. And it is only after you have gotten a commitment from someone that you then start to fully give them the implications of and downsides to their commitment.

Some people are better salesmen than others. I’m thinking my wife may have missed her calling, because she has got the lowball technique down pat. Here’s a perfect example of it from my household this week. The following conversation regarding Vacation Bible School at our church is close to bordering on being sort of true.

TUESDAY
Shanda: I may need you to help me at VBS just a little bit on Saturday.
Aaron: Um, OK.

WEDNESDAY
Shanda: By the way, on Saturday I need you to play a small part in a skit. You’ll be a sergeant.
Aaron: Well, OK. I guess that’s OK.

THURSDAY
Shanda: By the way, the skit on Saturday is set during Bible times. You’ll need to wear one of those old Bible-time costumes.
Aaron: What?! You didn’t tell me about that. I don’t want to wear one of those silly costumes. I’ll feel ridiculous.

FRIDAY
Shanda: By the way, your sergeant part is basically a Gomer Pyle type of character. You’ll have to act pretty nerdy, but that’s OK because you are naturally pretty nerdy anyway.
Aaron: Oh, come on!! You have GOT to be kidding me!

Oh well, I can't complain too much. It IS for VBS after all. Anything for the kids.

AN

More on Parenting

Advice to Parents

Parenting is tough. Shanda and I think we have nearly the best-behaved boys around. And yet, even they can be very trying sometimes. Whining, willful disobedience, rowdiness, and temper tantrums can all wear a parent’s nerves pretty thin.

It’s not like parental advice is scarce, though. If you’d like some suggestions for being a better parent or raising a better child, all it takes is one trip to any bookstore or magazine rack. Or just ask your friends and family. Take your kids with you to public places enough, and sooner or later even perfect strangers will be offering you advice.

Some sources of parental wisdom are better than others. Certainly some are more well-known than others. You may have heard of these guys.

Dr. Spock
Dr. Sears
Dr. Dobson

But here’s a bit of parenting wisdom from Vicks. Sometimes going on the attack is the best form of defense. Watch the commercial. I’m going to try this sometime.

The Loudness War

If you have a good ear for music, you might pop in a new CD today and recognize the quality is poorer than CDs produced years ago. Record producers have been fixated on making music louder and louder, often at the expense of quality. Watch this short video for a more complete explanation.



At the end of the clip, the commentator remarks, “When there is no quiet, there can be no loud.” This seems to be a wonderful metaphor for our hectic, activity-packed, loud lives. Have you noticed our obsession with things that are big, loud, and otherwise extreme? It’s not just about volume - we are drowning all of our senses. And our Christian lives are no exception, either. We feel good about our church services, concerts, and “worship experiences,” but even in these we have fallen to the temptation of bombarding our senses and calling it real.

Just as the music quality suffers when CDs are made louder and louder, the quality of our lives suffer when we jam our senses and our lives full of stuff, even good stuff.

Our Father tells us, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

We need times of quiet reflection, solitude, and meditation. These quiet times in our lives will surely bring more crispness and clarity to the rest. It is ironic, I suppose. If you really want a big, loud, rich, full life… be sure to tune in to the quiet times of your life. When there is no quiet, there can be no loud.

The Bystander Effect Strikes Again

We recently discussed the bystander effect on this blog. This time it is extreme and it shows up in my own hometown of Wichita, KS.

Read the story here.

Unbelievable.

AN

We Fight and Sometimes Die...

(7/10/07 edit - see note at end of post)

There is nothing original in my post today. It is ripped straight from Wade Burleson's blog and it is well worth reading....

This amazing picture has drawn a lot of comments from readers of the Nashville paper, The Tennessean. One of the hundreds of letters received is from a man who attended the funeral where this young boy received the flag in honor of his father.

Dear Tennessean:

The Tennessean's April 5 photograph of young Christian Golczynski accepting the American flag from Marine Lt. Col. Ric Thompson is one of the most moving and emotion provoking images I have ever seen.

My wife and I attended funeral services for Christian's father, Staff Sergeant Marcus Golczynski, on April 4, along with our six year-old son, dozens of Marines, and several hundred others who came to pay tribute to this fallen hero.

As one would expect, many of your readers were touched by this incredible picture. Staff Sergeant Golczynski had previously served one full tour in Iraq. Shortly before his death on March 27 he wrote to his family that he had volunteered to do this a second time due to our deep desire to finish the job we started. In his letter he said, "We fight and sometimes die so that our families don't have to." Tragically, Staff Sergeant Golczynski had only two weeks remaining on his second tour. We look at the photograph of Christian every day. It is displayed prominently in our home. Our hearts ache for Christian and for all those who have lost loved ones in this controversial conflict.

Our nation is at a historical crossroads. Do we call an end to the struggle in Iraq or press on? Staff Sergeant Golczynski eloquently told his son how he felt about not giving up. Perhaps there is a lesson for all of us in this man's life and the choices he made. He was undeniably a man of tremendous courage and conviction. America must now choose whether to complete the job.

When looking at the face of Christian Golczynski I am reminded that doing what is right is not always easy and doing what is easy is not always right. Christian's dad knew that too.

James Drescher

I pray my own children never take for granted their freedoms, or the freedoms of other people in democratic societies, obtained by the sacrifice of men and women like Staff Sergeant Marcus Golczynski. Our prayers are with the Golcyzynski family, particularly young Christian Golczynski.

(My wife suggested that this post could be interpreted primarily as a "pro-war" post. That wasn't really my intent. I'm not well-informed enough to know whether or not our current efforts in Iraq are worthwhile. The war in Iraq is an emotional issue, but I'm sure that history will give us better perspective. What struck me most by Burleson's post and Drescher's letter was the message left by a father to his son. We read in this story how a dad taught his son - both in word and action - a critically important life lesson. There ARE some things in life that are worth fighting for and even worth dying for. Perhaps the picture moved me so much because I could imagine my oldest son in that picture. It is heartwrenching to imagine a young boy trying to be brave for his father at the funeral. Surely this boy will remember and will shape his own life by the this lesson his father lived out for him. It makes me wonder what kind of lessons I'm teaching my own sons now. If I were to die today - have I left them any critically important life lessons?)

AN

Identity, Part 2

Maybe this would be better titled, "Address Book, Part 2" because this is really just a second observation from my pseudo-experiment.

I noticed how much the people in my address book were just like me.

Here are a couple of other things I noticed as I looked in my personal address book... Only 5 were minorities. And none were buddhist, muslim, mormon, or any other non-Christian religion (at least that I knew of).

One commenter on my first post put it this way.

I looked at my email address book...........yep pretty much everyone is a lot like me. Oh there are some personality differences but ...........same sex, same church background, same age, same income (give or take 10 to 20 thousand) same family values, same education, same humor. Where is the diversity? Of course we all have different spritual gifts and talents but still.......kind of revealing. I don't know one person who likes to jump from planes or who likes snakes...... etc. I must enlarge my territory.

I'm sure this is true of most people. That's because there is another social phenomenon at work. Not only do we become like the people with which we spend time, but groups (once formed) tend to stay homogeneous.

This is a dangerous combination. At best, it produces isolation and ignorance. At worst, it produces elitism and discrimination. I need to do a better job of finding places to connect with people who are not like me.

I've got a couple of other thoughts, but I'll see if anyone is interested in the topic first.... What do ya'll think?

AN

More on Identity

Short summary of Identity, Part 1 = (1) A sense of identity is crucial to our well-being. (2) Much of our identity is shaped as we become like the people with whom we spend our time.

I found these quotes interesting....

Like a trapeze artist, the young person in the middle of vigorous motion must let go of his safe hold on childhood and reach out for a firm grasp on adulthood, depending for a breathless interval on a relatedness between the past and the future, and on the reliability of those he must let go of, and those who will "receive" him. – Erik Erikson

In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of ego identity. Deprivation of identity, can lead to murder. – Erik Erikson

Man's struggle for his self and his identity is doomed to failure unless it is enacted as dedication and devotion to something beyond his self, to something above his self. – Victor Frankl

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children…. – Ephesians 5:1

When [the Sanhedrin] saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that there were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. – Acts 4:13


(Identity, Part 2 is coming later. Although, one sharp commenter has started to steal my thunder.)

AN