Accountability is one of the least understood and used gifts God has given us. All too often we try to live our lives on our own, under our own willpower. Maybe in our better moments, we’ll recognize that God actually has to help us out. But we maintain the “it’s just me and God” thing. “I don’t need anyone else. Together, God and I can handle anything.”We forget that God often works THROUGH other people in our lives. God often wants to grow me and hold me accountable THROUGH a relationship with someone else. Having an “accountability partner” can make all the difference in various areas of our lives – like our spiritual walk, dieting, or.... exercise. Our partners are lifelines for us. They help us grow into the people God wants us to be. Success or utter and miserable failure hangs in the balance.
And MY exercise partner didn’t show up for the FIRST day of our workouts this morning.
So I think I’m taking applications for a new exercise partner. If you are interested, answer these questions in triplicate and have them notarized.
(1) Will you bail out on our workout the very first day?
(2) Are you willing to lift lower weights than me to help boost my esteem?
(3) If I go into cardiac arrest, which of the following are you most likely to do?
(a) Stare in disbelief
(b) Take me to the nearest hospital
(c) Take the opportunity to pound me in the chest
(d) Walk away in embarrassment
(4) If I stop breathing, will you provide mouth to mouth resuscitation? Please explain your answer in a 1 page essay.
(5) When I am too sore to lift my arms after hitting the weights, will you drive me home and to work?
(6) Are you willing to lie to others (especially my wife) about how great I’m doing?
(7) Which of the following best describes your own philosophy of exercise?
(a) I workout to get huge and ripped
(b) I workout to improve my cardiovascular health
(c) I workout to lose weight
(d) I workout to torture myself and others
(e) I have no idea why I’m working out.
(8) Please provide three letters of reference and submit a $25 nonrefundable application fee.
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3 comments:
No way am I signing up to work out....
As the wife of the dude that stood you up this morning I am feeling bad. It was an alarm clock malfunction and I am to blame. The more I think about it, though, it was good for you to have your first workout alone especially if you plan on passing out and needing mouth to mouth, etc. I'm sure Scott is not sad to miss that! He WILL be there next time for sure.
Wow, thanks to my wife I am already being replaced. Thanks Jen.
(1) Will you bail out on our workout the very first day?
Not on purpose
(2) Are you willing to lift lower weights than me to help boost my esteem?
Are you willing to increase my grade to boost my self-esteem?
(3) If I go into cardiac arrest, which of the following are you most likely to do?
(a) Stare in disbelief
(b) Take me to the nearest hospital
(c) Take the opportunity to pound me in the chest
(d) Walk away in embarrassment
A
(4) If I stop breathing, will you provide mouth to mouth resuscitation? Please explain your answer in a 1 page essay.
I'm pleading the 5th
(5) When I am too sore to lift my arms after hitting the weights, will you drive me home and to work?
home, yes. Work no, then we wouldn't have class
(6) Are you willing to lie to others (especially my wife) about how great I’m doing?
Are you willing to lie (especially to my parents) about my grade
(7) Which of the following best describes your own philosophy of exercise?
(a) I workout to get huge and ripped
(b) I workout to improve my cardiovascular health
(c) I workout to lose weight
(d) I workout to torture myself and others
(e) I have no idea why I’m working out.
All of the above
(8) Please provide three letters of reference and submit a $25 nonrefundable application fee.
Show up about an hour later and you will always have a workout partner
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