If you followed some of the links from one of my earlier posts, you read about the man who entered my church Wednesday, September 15, 1999 and conducted a seemingly random yet ruthless shooting spree. Once inside the church, he fired over 100 rounds from two different handguns and even exploded a homemade pipe bomb. Seven people were killed, and seven others were wounded before he ended his own life.Our pastor, Al Meredith, was determined to hold services at church the following Sunday, just 4 days later. I can’t even begin to tell you what was happening to our church during those four days. We all did the best we could to help, support, and love each other whenever and wherever we could – but Bro. Al knew we all needed to be together that Sunday.
In preparation for that Sunday, Bro. Al asked some of the men of the church to come very early in the morning and pray. He encouraged us to walk around to each and every room, praying for everything that would happen that Sunday. So we all began our quiet prayer walks around the church. We prayed for peace and comfort. We prayed for safety. We prayed God would make His presence known. We prayed for guidance and wisdom.
At one point, I began to feel a bit overwhelmed with feelings of anger – most of them directed at the man who had the gall to inflict such pain on MY church. My thoughts began to sound like this….. “Who IS this guy, that he would come into MY church and kill people of MY family?!” [I suppose it was a reaction similar to someone threatening my own wife and kids. Mess with me all you want, but DO NOT mess with my family.] As I was dwelling on the pain my church family was going through and as my anger was growing, I heard God speak to me.
It wasn’t exactly an audible voice. But I very clearly heard God speak to me – quietly, gently, and yet firmly; “No, Aaron. This is MY family.”
That’s it. Those 6 words. They may be confusing to some. But it was immediately clear to me that the Holy Spirit was reminding me of two things. (1) That “my” church was even more God’s family than it was mine. So He knew exactly what I was feeling. (2) That God would not abandon His own family. He would care for us and give us what we needed.
It was startling and I stopped walking right where I was – mostly to process what had just happened, but also to take a quick look around just to make sure no one else heard anything. My anger subsided nearly instantaneously.
I held onto that experience in the days and weeks following. And it has been a comfort to me over the years. I like to share it with others periodically. Doing so reminds me of how God worked in our church during that time. And I hope it is an encouragement to at least a few others along the way.
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3 comments:
Thank you Aaron for sharing. We all need to be reminded of how God comforts "His family" when our pain is too great to bear. His pain was great for "His family" also. He wants us to be burdened over acts such as this but not bitter. I'm thankful He spoke to you!
In our class this sunday we were studying Adoption. The fact that we are adopted into God's family with Him as our father and other believers as our brothers and sisters.
His family indeed.
I have noticed in my own life that I like to hang onto my anger. It is one of the few emotions that feels somewhat tangible. The difference for me is that in the midst of clinging to that poison, I never still myself long enough to listen.
Jerk.
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