Moving On

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on….

I openly acknowledge that I am taking these verses (Phil. 3:13-14) out of context. They are about salvation and spiritual maturation. But I have taken these words and made them my own as I recover from 6 months of cancer and chemo.

I’m moving on.

Don’t get me wrong – I still have a lot going on related to my cancer. I have weekly visits to do labwork. I’ll be seeing my doctor every two months for thorough checkups. I’ll be getting PET scans and CT scans done frequently. I am still relatively weak and I am in the long process of rebuilding my strength and stamina at the fitness center. My hair is just now coming back in (it looks fuzzy and gray right now). And on top of all that, I am participating in the grand waiting game. My doctor says that if my lymphoma is going to come back, it is likely going to come back in the first year, with a smaller chance in the second year. After two years, I can be pretty confident it’s gone for good. Although two years is not long for most cancer patients, it seems long to me.

But I’m moving on. These issues are no longer central issues of my life – they are peripheral issues. I refuse to let that two year waiting period hang over my head – causing me undue worry and stress. I’m moving on. Cancer and chemo were so much the focus of my existence for 6 months that I am glad to push them to the side now. They no longer get to define who I am. I’ve written about this “identity” conflict several times now and it’s the reason I took a break from blogging, to tell you the truth. I was tired of being the cancer-blogger guy. I’m moving on. If the cancer returns, it returns. But in the meantime, I’ll be living my life as if it’s gone.

So…. While this post has been about me and my cancer, future posts will likely be about other things, if I remember how to write about them. Stay tuned if you are still interested.