(This picture is a little old. But it fits the post today.)My blog gets personal a bit more often during the summer since I don’t write as many posts related to my CBC classes. If the personal stuff rates too high on your Velveeta scale, move on. I’ll post some other thoughts later.
On Monday this week, I had some revelations and learned some lessons about parenting 3 boys. Here they are in no particular order.
There are lots of things that my wife and I can get worked up about. I’m having to retrain the way I look at my world. I think there are some things I should just learn to expect and accept without too much undue stress.
- Our boys are going to break items in our house.
- Our boys are going to get themselves hurt.
- Our boys are going to fight and argue.
- Our boys are going run, jump, wrestle, yell, and create all sorts of chaos.
If I’m not careful, the majority of my time with the boys can become about rules. “Boys, here are the rules. Do you remember the rules? Why did you decide to break the rule about that? What is the rule about this? What should be the consequence for breaking the rules? Didn’t I just tell you the rule about doing that? Rules, rules, rules.” It dawned on me that I don’t want my sons to grow up with a father whose main worry is about rules. I detest legalistic Christianity, but I have found myself rather comfortable with legalistic parenting. *sigh.* I’m a little lost how to change that right now, but I’ll figure it out.
I also discovered a few things this Monday that keep me young.
- Riding bicycles with my sons on the bike trail.
- Chasing squirrels and birds on the bike trail.
- Throwing and skipping rocks in the creek.
- Playing Operation and checkers.
- Playing outside and barefoot in the rain.
- Watching leaves, sticks, and spit flow down the gutter and into the storm drain.
- Seeing mom roll her eyes when she hears we were following our spit down the gutter.
Shanda sometimes says I’m no different than one of the kids. She doesn’t mean it as a compliment, but that’s OK. It’s not so bad being a kid.
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3 comments:
Good post. I need to follow your lead. Sometimes it does seem that I spend more time telling my boys things like what not to do, instead of picking my battles and remembering what it is like to just be a boy. I want to raise them right, but I don't want to take "being a boy" away from them either.
When I was older, I asked my dad how he raised three boys.
He really only said a couple of things.
1. He realized early on he really couldn't have anything nice in the house until we were out of it.
2. When something was broken, basically all three of us were at fault.
3. Outside was mainly where he had us play and spent time showing us outdoor games so mom could have some peace.
4. He got a dog so we had more incentive to go outside.
5. He never panicked when we were hurt and only took us to the ER when it was a last resort. He said you will know when it is a "boo boo" cry and when it is "holy crap that hurts" cry.
Hope that helps.
It must be a "mom" thing because I found myself shaking my head and rolling my eyes when I read the part about the spit. Then cracked up when I read the next line about Shan.
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