Church Dilemma

My home church in Texas is facing a serious dilemma. They have been approached by a half-way house with a proposal for allowing the men there to come and be a part of the church.

It is a half-way house for sex offenders.

Discussing an issue like this is far easier when it is a hypothetical situation or when it is at someone else’s church. But imagine this is happening at your own church right now. What do you do?

Here are some questions to ponder:

How does knowledge of recidivism rates influence your decision? Click here for an excellent article on relapse and recidivism. While the stats vary, I think most would agree that in the short term (3-6 years), child molesters have a 15-20% reconviction rate and rapists have a 20-25% reconviction rate. The reconviction rates are higher in the long-term. And reconviction rates miss the number of actual relapses or reoffenses because so many incidents go unreported. (Click here for more information on sex offenders.)

If you welcome them into your church, how do you keep your congregation safe? What precautions, policies, and procedures should be implemented? What level of risk is acceptable?

If you put large scale policies and procedures in place to keep the congregation safe, how do you justify using the resources needed to do so? Resources of time, energy, and money will be pulled from other ministries. Is this wise?

If you do not welcome them into your church, what do you do instead? Are there any legitimate alternatives?


I am not interested in criticizing this church, regardless of their decision. Nor am I interested in creating controversy. But a healthy dialogue about what it means to be a church might be good for all of us. I would really like to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, here’s a slightly modified portion of an email I wrote to a good friend today (pardon the poor grammar and writing style)…..

“So you know where I stand. I think that these men ought to made a part of the community of faith (if they are asking to join). In fact, of all people on this planet, maybe these kinds of men are the ones in MOST need of a true, genuine, community of faith. As Christians, we are primarily called to be ambassadors, to bring people to Jesus. We are not primarily called to be safe. Working with sex offenders is dangerous, but it is necessary. Rejecting people from the body of Christ (outside of proper church discipline) is tragic, if not unbiblical. I wonder how the parable of the Good Samaritan would apply in this situation. I’d hate for the church to be like the ones who passed these men by as they were lying on the road.

But the church needs to go about this process with a full understanding of the danger involved. No one should water down the facts to make bringing the men to church more palatable. There is real risk involved and the church needs to be wise in setting up policies and procedures.”

AN

Making an Impact, Revisited

In an earlier post, we discussed Larry Crabb’s assertion that we are all built with a desire to make an impact. Larry described this as a desire to do something valuable and well, to be adequate for a meaningful task. In the comments section, our conversation quickly turned away from this task-oriented definition to a more person-oriented one. That is, in discussing the desire to “make an impact,” we all immediately began to think of how we impact people.

I wonder if that is because all of us understand, at least at a gut level, that making an impact on people is more important than doing something well. Connecting and relating to others in meaningful ways is more important than succeeding at a task, even when the task is good, valuable, and worthwhile. And by “more important” I don’t just mean in the eternal-scheme-of-things kind of way. I mean it is more important for our own well-being, for our own growth, for nourishing our own soul – to connect and relate to others in deep and profound ways.

It has been interesting to follow Larry Crabb’s writings over the years. There has definitely been a shift in his thinking about psychology and counseling. In fact, I think Crabb would have appreciated our discussion of impacting people, because this is exactly the focus of his later writings.

Crabb says that for too long Christian counselors have focused on one of two approaches in dealing with human problems: (1) The problem is a stubborn will and we ought to assist people in doing what is right through Scriptural instruction and exhortation. (2) The problem is psychological damage and we ought to help people fix what is wrong through self-awareness and the development of insight.

Crabb offers a third alternative. For him, the problem is a disconnected soul and we ought to pour our lives into them in deep, profound, and intimate ways – where “the life of Christ in one person is poured into another and awakens in the emptiest recesses of that other person’s soul the experience of life.”

This is far easier said than done, but this is what our souls were created for – connecting with others. To make an impact on others, we ought to follow God’s example. Here is Crabb again:

"…Like most Christians, I've put a great deal of stock in self-awareness and self-discipline. Know yourself and choose wisely…. It's become clear to me, though, that God handles things a bit differently…. The absolute center of what he does to help us change is to reveal himself to us, to give us a taste of what he's really like, and to pour his life into us.... God's method is neither to merely issue commands from the general's tent (do what's right) nor to improve the functioning of diseased organs (fix what's wrong).... God doesn't fix us or pressure us. He does whatever it takes to reveal himself to us. That may include probing deeply into our messy hearts or insisting we do something we really don't want to do. But the core purpose is always the same, not to repair or exhort us, but to draw us into a fuller appreciation of himself."

What do ya’ll make of all that?

Impressing the Girls

There is a part of a guy’s life that is both a little pathetic and amusing. We are always trying to impress the girls. And it starts early.

Parker is spending the day with a friend from his preschool today. She is a smart and cute little girl. Shanda overheard Parker say this morning, “Hey, Candyce, I can bench 220.”

I’m still laughing.

I don’t know if this is how it went, but here’s how I picture it. Parker is sitting across from Candyce at the table. He puffs up his chest and crosses his arms Uncle Rico style and gives Candyce a slight bob of the head. He then delivers what he believes to be the one thing sure to win her approval. He can bench 220.

Another friend of mine is training for a marathon. He said that his running times vary depending on how many girls are out running that day, too. He’ll pick up his pace a little bit as he runs by the girls. Once they are out of sight, he slows it back down. And I can’t poke too much fun at him for doing it. I think a lot of guys would do the same.

Every guy can list some of the stupid things they have done just to impress the girls. Anybody want to share some of theirs? I like for people to put their names on their comments, but I understand widespread use of the anonymous function for this one….

AN

The Swirling Vortex of Doom

Running my cousin’s 3-wheeler into a barbed-wire fence.
Buying a country music CD.
Shattering my own windshield while replacing a wiper blade.
Trying to grow a goatee.
Going to the bathroom with poison ivy on my hands.

I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my life. Most of them have been relatively inconsequential – thank goodness. God is good to us that way. We get lots of grace. But some of our mistakes, even the small ones, have terrible consequences.

This is especially true with our words. The smallest of mistakes with the words we use with someone can have lifelong effects. This shouldn’t be any surprise to us. James 3:1-12 reminds us of the power and danger of our words. “See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!" (vs. 5)

I was reminded of how small mistakes can have huge consequences this weekend when I heard the story of Lake Peigneur in Louisiana. In 1980, it was a small freshwater lake only 6 to 11 feet deep. A drilling company began drilling operations from the lake, but after drilling some 1300 feet below the lake, they ran into trouble.

Click here or here for the full story. Click here for a video segment.

Here’s the short story. The drilling company hit a salt mine below the lake. Water started to rush into the salt mine, dissolving the salt pillars and collapsing the salt dome. A whirlpool began in the lake that eventually sucked down the oil rig, 11 barges, a tugboat, trailers, trucks, trees, and who knows what else. The lake typically drained into the Gulf of Mexico 12 miles away through a canal. Once this swirling vortex of doom began, the water in the canal reversed directions. Water from the Gulf of Mexico filled in the salt mine and lake. Lake Peigneur is now 1300 feet deep instead of 11. And the saltwater drastically changed the biology of the lake.

All of that from a 14 inch drilling bit.

I’ve got to be more careful with my words.
And poison ivy.

AN

Catching Fish and Catching Up

I’m back! The break was good, but I missed blogging last week. I’m back in the saddle now, though.

Each year (for four years now), I’ve been invited to Rockport, TX to go fishing with a 3 other very good friends. It is a great time and I’ll blog someday about what this trip is really all about for me.

For now, think of it this way…. Put together one psychology professor/counselor, one engineer with some kind of triple-double top secret military clearance, one theologian turned sales manager, and one insurance salesman turned drilling equipment representative. The conversations range from serious, challenging, and profound all the way to utterly ridiculous and completely juvenile.

Throw in one guy’s parents who wait on us like we were royalty, The Boiling Pot restaurant, 4 days of fishing in the bay during the day, cards and movies at night, and you get a really, really, good time. Honestly, it’s more fun than an adult should probably be allowed to have.

It’s funny how guys can make anything into a competition. Each year we decide on a winner and a loser of our fishing tournament. We can’t just go fishing for the love of fishing, I guess. So we developed a system of points. 1 point for catching a game fish (usually trout and redfish, but we’ve also caught snappers and flounders). Catfish, stingrays, crabs, and rocks do not count. 2 points if the fish is big enough to be a keeper. 3 points if the fish falls into our arbitrarily defined “big” category.

For the record, the winners have been.

2004 – Aaron
2005 – Brett
2006 – Aaron
2007 – Brett

Thom and Matt have been embarrassed because they are the ones who actually are fishermen. They have all their own equipment and claim to know what they’re doing. Brett and I are fishing idiots (or we were before 2004). Brett came in 2005 with the book “Fishing for Dummies” (no kidding). The pressure is mounting for Thom or Matt to bring in a victory soon.

Just as significant to us is who comes in LAST, because the loser has to let the world know just how bad his fishing is -- that they fish like a girl (no offense meant toward the better gender). For example, one year the loser had to put a hot pink “Punk Princess” bumper sticker on his car for two weeks and another year it was a bright “Girl Power” bumper sticker. We’ve yet to settle on a sticker for this year, but I’m sure it will be just as conspicuous.

I’ve got ideas for several blog posts swimming around in my head, some serious and some not so much. I’m looking forward to catching up.

AN

Speaking of Making an Impact....

I’ll be taking a short break from blogging the rest of this week while I try to make an impact on the speckled trout and redfish populations.

I’ll be checking in nearly every day, but I may not get to post anything new on Nothing New.

Making an Impact

I’m in the middle of a book that I’m considering for use in a class next semester: Understanding People, by Larry Crabb. In it, Crabb tries to lay out a biblical understanding of how people tick.

I found one particular idea interesting. It isn’t the cornerstone of his book, but it is worth noting. According to Crabb, we are driven by a longing for impact.

“…We want to know that we are capable of doing a job that needs to be done. We want to leave a mark on our world, a real and enduring difference that matters.

We experience this desire for impact in many ways. Inspecting a newly waxed car or a friendly cut lawn provides a measure of legitimate satisfaction: ‘I did it. Because I expended energy, things look better. I made a difference.’ But there is a problem with the limitedness of this impact.

…Short-lived impact is not terribly exciting. We desire an impact that is important and lasting. Impact ranging from trivial (well-trimmed lawns) to more important matters (business success or family harmony) provides different degrees of satisfaction, but never enough.

Let me define this thirst for impact as a desire to be adequate for a meaningful task, a desire to know that we are capable of taking hold of our world and doing something valuable and well.”

I sense this desire for impact in my life. In fact, it is what makes a career of teaching so appealing to me. I'm not as good as I should be, but feel like I can do this job well. And while I don’t always feel adequate to the task, there is part of me that desperately wants to make a real difference in the lives of my students. I want them to succeed in graduate school and in their careers. I want them to be healthy individuals. I want them to go on and make a difference in the lives of others, too.

Like in other posts, I’m interested in learning from others here. Perhaps if I hear how others are making an impact in their world, it will assist me in my attempt to do so as well. So, I’d like for ya’ll to share how this longing for impact shows up in your own life. When have you felt like you made a significant impact in the past? How does this longing influence your choice of a career? How do you see yourself making an impact in the future? All thoughts/observations/insights are welcome!

Ballerinas

Someone has requested I post this video. I don't want to name any names, but maybe Curt has known some ballerinas in his day.

Oops. Sorry Curt.

The Bystander Effect

The Israeli Motorcyclist
I read a news story Tuesday about how a motorcyclist involved in an accident laid in the middle of a busy intersection for 2 minutes before someone stopped to help him. His motorcycle was just a few meters away and yet over 30 cars and trucks slowed down and carefully drove around the man without stopping. The man was later pronounced dead at the scene.

This seems to be a classic example of one of the more interesting phenomena studied by social psychologists – the “bystander effect.”

Suppose there is a person in trouble and in need of assistance. Under which circumstances would that person be most likely to actually receive assistance? When there is just one person around or when there is a group of people? You may be surprised to learn that groups of bystanders are less likely than individuals to help a person in trouble.

Kitty Genovese
In 1964, Kitty Genovese (pictured above) was attacked, raped, and stabbed to death by a man just outside her apartment complex in New York. There was quite a commotion as she screamed for help. For example, it was later reported that others heard her call out, “Oh my God! He stabbed me! Please help me!!” In fact, the screams apparently scared the attacker and he hid in an entryway twice, only to return to finish his assault – which lasted over 30 minutes. Perhaps most horrifying is the fact that 38 different witnesses heard or saw something of the attack from their own apartment windows, and yet none of them came to her rescue or called the police.

Since this event, social psychologists like John Darley and Bibb Latane have been able to consistently demonstrate the bystander effect in a wide range of experiments.

There seem to be several factors involved in the bystander effect. Among them….
(1) There seems to be a “diffusion of responsibility” that occurs in groups. If you are the only person who knows someone else needs assistance, then you are likely to feel 100% responsible for giving them assistance. But if you are among 9 other people who all know the person needs assistance, you may only feel 10% responsible.
(2) There is a greater risk of embarrassment in groups. When others are around, people engage in a particular inner dialogue. “Surely someone else has already offered help. And someone else must know how to help in this situation better than I do. What if it isn’t really that serious after all? Somebody else knows what’s going on and knows what to do more than I do.” Of course, when everyone in a group has the same inner dialogue, the person may not get any help at all.
(3) People read the “social cues” of those around them. Each person in the group tries to remain outwardly calm and detached while they read the facial expressions, body language, and actions of the others around them. After all, no one wants to overreact. But since each person is doing the same thing, the social cues of the group reinforce the notion that no help is needed.

Our Friends, Neighbors, or Co-Workers
The thought occurred to me that maybe a variation of the bystander effect is at work hindering Christians from sharing our faith with others like we should.
(1) Perhaps we don’t boldly share our faith because we don’t feel individually responsible for the other person. I barely know the names of some of my neighbors, let alone know anything about their spiritual life. I’m ashamed to admit the “percentage” of responsibility I feel for them is very low.
(2) Perhaps we don’t boldly share our faith because we fear failure or embarrassment. After all, there are other Christians who know how to share their faith better than we do. Maybe we won’t have the answers to their questions. Maybe we’ll just make things worse. Maybe the person is already a Christian and there’s no real spiritual emergency after all.
(3) Perhaps we don’t boldly share our faith because we are reading the wrong social cues. If I don’t hear my friends talking about sharing their faith, if I don’t see them doing it, if it doesn’t come up in our conversations or our prayers together, if the topic is absent in my relationships with other believers, then I begin to act and think as if it isn’t very important.

It’s been a rambling post today – my apologies. Your thoughts or observations on the social dynamics of evangelism?

Challenge the Ordinary

Lessons from Toad Suck Daze (part II)

I worked at a booth at Toad Suck on Sunday morning for Life Choices. (There’s a plug for you, Maria!) While at the booth, I heard this comment from a dad as he led his family through a downtown street. For some reason, it caught me really funny and I nearly laughed out loud as they passed by.

Coltuhn!! Give yur turtle to yur sissy so you can eat yur pickle!”

This little kid had a box in one hand (with a hole in the top and a turtle inside) and a jumbo pickle in the other. He was struggling mightily to manage both of them at the same time.

You see all kinds of people at events like Toad Suck. For example, over the weekend, I saw……
Some people wearing flip-flops, some wearing combat boots.
Some people with long hair, some people with no hair.
Some people in motorcycle gangs, some people in scrapbooking clubs.
Some people who smoke, some who don’t.
Some people who liked the Bret Michaels concert, some who liked Michael English.
Some people with kids, some people without.
Some Republicans, some Democrats.
Some people with lots of tattoos, some without.
Some people with lots of teeth, some without.
Some people who appreciate good hygiene, some people who don’t.
Some people who appreciate fried Oreos, some people who don’t.
Some people lots of money, some people without much money at all.
Some people who were like me, some people not so much.

Lesson #2 from Toad Suck Daze = God must value and enjoy variety in his creation. So should I.

Lessons from Toad Suck Daze (part I)

Toad Suck Daze. No description will do it justice for those who don’t know what it is. Think state fair (without the animals) -- concerts, races, games, parades, pageants, lots of fried foods served on a stick, and people hallucinating from sleep deprivation while being stuck on a truck. If you don’t know about Toad Suck Daze in Conway, you can find more information here.

Adults can run in the 5k or 10k races during Toad Suck Daze. Kids 4-12 have their own Tadpole Trot races. Parker ran in the Tadpole Trot this Saturday and it was a hoot. Imagine a bunch of 4 year olds racing 200 meters with hundreds of adults cheering them on. They get their own t-shirts, racing numbers, and everything.

How do you prepare a 4 year old for a race like that? I actually did have him practice running 200 meters a few times, just so he’d know how long the race was going to be. But more importantly, we gave Parker 3 rules for the race, and we stressed them several times in the few days leading up to the race.
(1) Finish the race.
(2) Do your best.
(3) Have fun.

Lesson #1 from Toad Suck Daze = the same rules for 4 year olds apply to the everyday lives of adults, too. After all, the Apostle Paul compares our lives to races in several places in Scripture.

The wheels in my head are turning now, thinking about other rules we could have given Parker for his race and how they might also apply to adults. Maybe together we can put together a list of “Everything I Needed to Know about Life I Learned from Tadpole Trots.” Your suggestions?

Welcome (& Disclaimer)

Thank you for visiting “Nothing New.” That may sound like an odd name for a blog, but it actually carries a double meaning.

First is the obvious reference to Ecclesiastes 1:9-11.

".…there is nothing new under the sun. Can one say about anything, 'Look, this is new'? It has already existed in the ages before us. There is no memory of those who came before; and of those who will come after, there will also be no memory among those who follow them."

I am under no pretense that anything I have to offer is very original. Nor am I particularly wise. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe puts it this way,

"All truly wise thoughts have been thought thousands of times; but to make them really ours we must think them over again honestly till they take root in our personal expression."

I am also under no pretense than anything I have to say is really all that important. The second meaning of “Nothing New” is found when you read the word “nothing” as an adjective rather than a pronoun. Since my last name is New, the name of the blog reminds me of my place in this world. Galatians 6:3 warns us,

"If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself."

So, there you have it. Read my blog because it has nothing particularly original, wise, or important in it.

I hope you are still interested anyway, since I believe there may still be value in the blog. I hope that through our discussions we can sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17) and build a sense of community together. I will be posting my thoughts on just about anything and everything and I would love for you to join me. Please read my postings as they are intended - they are only my reflections, musings, observations, wisecracks, and ponderings (along with a few snide remarks to be sure). I speak for no one but myself, and even that is a bit tenuous.

(Prior to May 4, 2007, I wrote for a blog called "The Three Amigos." For the sake of continuity, I transferred the last seven posts from that blog to this one. You can still see those posts as well as all the previous ones and the reader comments there.)

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

(from "The Three Amigos" - 5/02/07)

I have enjoyed blogging much more than I imagined. It causes me to be more reflective and creative. It challenges and stretches me. And it’s fun. (And it’s pressure-free since it seems I have a readership of about 2.) That said, it may seem surprising that I’m getting ready to bury The Three Amigos blog. I know, I know…. It seems tragically unfair – a blog with so much promise cut down in the prime of its youth.

Yes, I’ve broken up with the other two amigos, Chris and Henry. I wrote them an email and said it wasn’t them, it was me. And I asked them if we could still be friends. Henry said he wanted all his stuff back.

Sometime this summer, I’ll launch my own blog. It will be a little more individualized than “The Three Amigos.” I just hope my solo career doesn’t crash and burn like Scott Stapp’s. Keep checking out The Three Amigos until the switch. I’ll make an announcement and post a link when my new blog is up and running.

Here’s where I need your help. I need a name for the new blog. The person with the best idea gets $1000 or some bubble gum, whichever I have in my desk at the time. I’ll take whatever suggestions you’ve got.

“Live Richly” (or “I Ain’t No Hollaback Girl”)

(from "The Three Amigos" - 5/01/07)

There is a lesson in this spoof about getting through to God. It’s a good lesson, I suppose…… you know, God isn’t like an automated telephone system, you can always reach him……

But I’m posting it just because I think it’s funny.

Graduation Wishes

(from "The Three Amigos" - 4/29/07)

Congratulations to those of you who are graduating this spring. No doubt this is an exciting time for you since in many ways you are closing one chapter of your life and beginning a new one.

And you will surely receive many words of encouragement from friends, family, and graduation speakers. So I will not leave you with a long, complicated post commending you on your hard work and challenging you to go out and change the world.

Instead, I give you these simple words from Proverbs 3:5-6 (HCSB), my favorite Scripture passage.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and do not rely on your own understanding;
Think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.

I’m looking forward to hearing about the paths God has laid out for you in the future.

Confessions

(from "The Three Amigos" - 4/26/07)

Christian psychologist Henry Cloud asks an important question about openly acknowledging personal problems in our churches.

“In the church it is unacceptable to have problems: that is called being sinful. In an AA group it is unacceptable to be perfect: that is called denial. Which stance is more biblical?”

I met with a pastor this week who confessed to his congregation an ongoing and serious struggle with pornography and then resigned from his position. I imagine it took quite a lot of courage to do so. He wondered if confessing his sin would be equivalent to ministerial suicide. He wondered if he would be blacklisted from ever serving as a pastor again. He wondered about the kind of job he would be able to find and how he would support his family financially. He wondered what people would think. He wondered about the effects on his family. And yet, he believed that God was directing him to resign. So despite his fears, he was true to the conviction and guidance of the Holy Spirit and resigned.

I wish more church leaders were as transparent. I’m obviously not suggesting that pastors, deacons, Sunday School teachers and other leaders should sin more, just that they demonstrate more brokenness and confession for the sins they are already committing. (And, by the way, as a teacher of a Sunday School class, I include myself in this category.) As it is, very few Christians today fully know the power of confession and it may be due, in part, to our lack of models who demonstrate the need for and power of confession.

Mark McMinn, another Christian psychologist, describes the relationship between spirituality and confession this way:

“Spirituality often becomes a source of secret pride. When churches are filled with people nursing spiritual pride, the blessings of community are overshadowed by ugly competition. Rather than being a place where Christians confess to one another, the church sometimes becomes a place where we compete with one another, trying to impress others with our spiritual maturity. Confession is difficult in this context because to confess is to shatter our fantasized persona of perfection.”

I wish we were able to be more transparent with each other in our churches. I wish we weren’t plagued by spiritual competition and pride. I wish there were more pastors like this one who was sensitive to the conviction of his sin by the Holy Spirit and taught his congregation about confession and repentance by his own example. I wish I were more like that.

Imagine a Church...

(from "The Three Amigos" - 4/26/07)

Imagine a church where every member is passionately, whole-heartedly, and recklessly.....

Monkey Kick Off

(from "The Three Amigos" - 4/24/07)

The end of the semester is here and finals week is coming up. If you need a study break, check this out. In fact, I challenge all blog readers to a monkey kick off.

How Rich Are You?

(from "The Three Amigos" 4/23/07)

I have a running list of things I want to purchase. It’s not a written list, because that would be too blatantly and obviously materialistic. But I have a secret mental list of things I want to buy someday soon.

A high-definition TV
A Nintendo Wii
3 new pairs of shoes (for work,
basketball, and goofing around)
There are always CDs I want (I have 4 in mind right now)
A new sofa and loveseat
New bedroom furniture
A new mountain bike
New sunglasses
And have you seen my bookshelves? There are always books I want.

None of this includes the things I actually NEED to buy soon. Like a new set of tires to replace the ones with metal showing under the tread. I don’t pay much attention to that list, though. It’s no fun.

But I don’t have enough money for all this stuff. So I sometimes think of ways to earn just a little extra cash. You know, a little extra money just to splurge with. And I think how nice it would be to earn just a few thousand extra in salary every year.

Then I come across a site like this. The Global Rich List.

From the site:
“Every year we gaze enviously at the lists of the richest people in world, wondering what it would be like to have that sort of cash. But where would you sit on one of those lists? Here's your chance to find out.”

Check it out for yourself. Be sure to select the $ as you enter your income.